I am not the way I used to be
I am older and weaker as you can see;
I Remember THE words, RATNAKAR said
As he held me up and kissed me on my head
You will never be hungry and you will never be alone
With no one to love you and no home
I will always be here to lend a hand
To help you and guide you when you don't understand;
I believed his words and thought I would live to see
He was not going to ever leave me
he had promised me that, he and his sons.
would look after me

but God the father. took him away
for ever and ever and far away,
the end was so sudden I could not believe.
he was lying in the CPU, he looked a sleep.
the doctor told me he was no more
and I silently walked through,
the hospital doorl
knowing my life with trouble will brew
now that I had no one to turn to
Rathnakars love was not mine to keep;
I miss my Rathnakar I won't lie
Not a single hug or one last goodbye;
He is now a free man and in heaven he roams
Not worrying of his family or coming home;
He was taken out of my life and I
am alone since that day
Oh why Rathnakar why didn't God let you stay?

for a time all seemed well,
ratnakars money saw us through hell.
I doted on his kids and gave all I had,
things went from good to bad
the neglect slowly crept in,
my trust and care was my biggest sin.
By letting my kids have their choice and will
I am living in regret,till my body is still

I am gray old woman I sits all alone
Unloved, uncherished and unknown.
Sitting beside my computer screen.
Dreaming of days past and what might of been,
When children were small and very wee
Filling the air with childish glee,
I cherished them with loving care.
and blessed them with Mother's prayer.
But now they have grown, each to his life
the girls to their husbands, the boys to their wives,
Forgetful are they of a mother who sits here alone
Silently weeping and hurt to the bone
Blind their poor eyes to a Mother's grief.
But does she tell them in word or in mind.
that their neglect to her seem unkind.
She'll forgive and forget, unkindness they've shown.
just to get a their attention and feel included
This poor old mother who sits at home
very much alone and deluded.